{"id":21055,"date":"2019-05-07T23:17:20","date_gmt":"2019-05-07T23:17:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/?p=21055"},"modified":"2024-09-24T06:50:45","modified_gmt":"2024-09-24T06:50:45","slug":"cilla-holm-wurde-solomutter-dies-ist-ihr-neues-leben","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/de\/tv-presse\/cilla-holm-wurde-solomutter-dies-ist-ihr-neues-leben\/","title":{"rendered":"Cilla Holm wurde Solomutter \u2014 dies ist ihr neues Leben"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"She<\/p>\n

“Dagens Nyheter”, Sweden. 7 May 2019. Text: Sofia Edgren, Photo: Elin \u00c5berg<\/strong><\/p>\n

Translation to English<\/p>\n

Cilla Holm became a mother on her own \u2013 this is her new Liv (life)<\/h2>\n

A year ago DN met Cilla Holm who had become pregnant through embryo donation in Russia. Today she is the mother of Liv, 7 months old.<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

Facts. Cilla Holm<\/h3>\n

Age<\/strong>: 43<\/p>\n

Resident in<\/strong>: Kungsholmen, Stockholm<\/p>\n

Family<\/strong>: Daughter Liv, seven months, and boyfriend<\/p>\n

Work<\/strong>: Conversation therapist and run the pod cast \u201cI want a baby\u201d, about longing for children and involuntary infertility.
\n\u00a0<\/p>\n

Embryo donation and IVF \u2013 now easier for singles<\/h3>\n
    \n
  • Embryo donation <\/strong>or\u00a0double donation means assisted fertilization with donated eggs and sperm. The method where fertilization is made outside of the body means that there is no genetic link between child and parent.<\/li>\n
  • From 1 January 2019\u00a0<\/strong>the method is legal in Sweden. However, so far no clinic has performed the treatment. A woman in Sweden must be under 40 years old to have an IVF-treatment paid by the public care.<\/li>\n
  • Women \u2013 under and over\u00a0<\/strong>40 \u2013 can also seek help in private clinics at a cost.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n

    Since October last year Cilla Holm is pinching her arm every morning when she wakes up. Although a year has passed since Liv was born it still feels unreal to have become a mother.<\/p>\n

    \u2013 Every day I feel a wave of gratitude towards those two persons who gave me my daughter. A 20 year old Danish man and a 32 year old Russian woman, says Cilla Holm after having bumped in the stroller to the inner room of her regular caf\u00e9.\u00a0<\/p>\n

    A morning nap would have been suitable, but Liv wants to stay awake during the interview. Wide awake and satisfied in Cillas arms it is obvious there is a big resemblance between them.<\/p>\n

    \u2013 Many people say so. But genetically it is unlikely. Personally I see no clear physical resemblances, but in her ways she is a mini-me. We have the same energetic temperament and are evening persons who like to meet people. And we both prefer to be outdoors rather than at home.<\/p>\n

    It has been a year since DN met Cilla Holm for the first time. Back then she was four months pregnant \u2013 a very much longed for pregnancy who had demanded a three year long process of assisted fertilization. After ten trips to Denmark for as many attempts with insemination and IVF, Cilla decided to turn to Russia for help. A clinic in St Petersburg offered IVF with embryo donation, which means in vitro fertilization with both donated eggs and sperm. The method, where the mother has no genetic link to the child, has been legal in Sweden only from the 1st of January 2019. However this would not have helped Cilla since it takes a long time before all the practicalities around the treatment are solved.<\/p>\n

    \u2013 It was a big decision to give up on my own eggs. When I first decided to try to have a baby on my own egg donation did not even feel as an alternative, at the same as my own genes were not really important. For example I would have been happy to adopt a child. But the more time that passed, and with all failed treatments behind me, it became difficult to continue with someone else\u2019s eggs.<\/p>\n

    The \u201cgrief process\u201d<\/strong> in taking the decision of embryo donation \u2013 and with that accepting the lack of a genetic link to the child \u2013 was followed by agony. First of all going to Russia \u2013 a country for which Cilla had \u201chuge prejudices\u201d \u2013 was a big step, but above all the choice of donors was distressing. After having chosen an egg donor \u2013 a 32 year old Russian woman she thought looked like her as a child \u2013 the clinic chose four suitable sperm donors from the sperm bank it was using.<\/p>\n

    \u2013 My decision anxiety was crazy and at first I didn\u2019t think any of them was suitable. Today I can\u2019t understand that I spent so much time on pondering over donators. From the day I got the positive pregnancy test the donors didn\u2019t matter at all.<\/p>\n

    Two large, green-blue eyes gaze at Cilla. Since both Cilla and the egg donor have blue eyes Liv probably got the green color from the male donor. Cilla doesn\u2019t know more about the donors than the information provided to the clinic: a list of personal properties and medical history, a letter and pictures of them as children. The criteria for choosing donors are of course very individual, but since Cilla chose a female donor that resembled her looks she wanted to choose the male donor more out of personal properties. But today, she repeats, all that feels completely unimportant.<\/p>\n

    \u2013 Liv is 100 percent mine regardless of who the donor is. It is a \u201cgenetic lottery\u201d how children turn out, whether they have your genes or genes from one or more donors. My experience is that the time in my belly has definitely affected how Liv is. And that I and other persons around her are affecting her every day. Interesting is all new research that is published about epigenetics. It points out the fact that genes can be re-programmed by the environment and thereby be expressed in a different way than the DNA is signaling.<\/p>\n

    \"<\/p>\n

    In what way has your life changed since Liv was born?<\/h3>\n

    \u2013 Practically \u2013 except for fewer visits to restaurants and surprisingly more sleep \u2013 not very much, says Cilla.<\/p>\n

    Running her own business \u2013 Cilla is a therapist focusing on women longing for children \u2013managing her own working hours she has been working more or less since Liv was a few weeks old. This is also thanks to the \u201cBaby Liv support group\u201d that Cilla started before Liv was born.<\/p>\n

    \u2013 The key to becoming a rather harmonic self-standing
    \nparent is having the courage to ask for help. Everyone in the group has been asked beforehand and they always have the right to say no. But when I launch a question in the thread \u201cdoes someone have the possibility to watch Liv for two hours tomorrow while I am working\u201d, someone always says yes.<\/p>\n

    What does the closest future look like?<\/h3>\n

    \u2013 I continue working with my conversation groups, the pod, lectures and my clients. My heart still lies with those who are longing. There is so much you can do for people, so that they don\u2019t end up in the same situation as I did. Like educating people about fertility and take away all shame hats connected to assisted fertilization. And the family structure \u201cself-standing family\u201d has to be more accepted. Just like it has to be more accepted to choose not to have children. That group of women is probably having the hardest time today, as our whole society is shaped around expectations of being a parent.<\/p>\n

    What would you like to say to persons who consider having children on their own?<\/h3>\n

    \u2013 Just do it! You can\u2019t practice being a parent \u2013 you learn by doing. And I am so happy I did this and still have my freedom. My parenthood is not about compromising with someone else. Having children with the wrong person must be very tough.<\/p>\n

    Are you still single?<\/h3>\n

    \u2013 Ha ha, no. I met a man when I went on a date while I was five months pregnant. I was about to close down Tinder, but to get some good material for my pod I entered a chat. I started talking to a very nice man who asked if he could offer me a glass of wine. \u201cNo, I am five months pregnant so I don\u2019t drink\u201d, I said. After one second he answered: \u201cIn that case I take it back \u2013 can I offer you a glass of non-alcoholic wine?\u201d So it is. But I am still self-standing in my parenthood.<\/p>\n

    Cilla’s advices for those who are planning to have children on their\u00a0own<\/h2>\n
      \n
    1. Do not wait too long. You don\u00b4t need to know everything while starting the process. There are many steps before the permanent decision is made. Begin with a fertility investigation and continue from there. Just to call and make such a booking takes courage.<\/li>\n
    2. Seek support from relatives and friends and involve them in your process \u2013 you will need them when you are a parent. Start early to practice asking for help and bring a friend, a family member or anyone to the various meetings with doctors, treatments, travels etc. And make sure that those involved understand exactly your longing and situation. They should be a support without mixing up with their own history.<\/li>\n
    3. Seek professional help and community with others in the same situation. It might be a good idea to see a therapist or enter a conversation group. My personal favorite is the Facebook-group \u201cMum on my own\u201d. There is also the association Femmis. If you don\u2019t have support in your closest surroundings there is other support available!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      “Dagens Nyheter”, Sweden. 7 May 2019. Text: Sofia Edgren, Photo: Elin \u00c5berg Translation to English Cilla Holm became a mother on her own \u2013 this is her new Liv (life) A year ago DN met Cilla Holm who had become pregnant through embryo donation in Russia. Today she is the mother of Liv, 7 months old. Facts. Cilla<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":21082,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[117],"tags":[95,70,81],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCilla Holm wurde Solomutter \u2014 dies ist ihr neues Leben - O.L.G.A. 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