Whether you are starting your IVF journey, are in the middle of it or have already come a long way, the anxiety is often here: it stays and it grows, taking over your mind and your body.
You have many questions and many doubts. You receive brief and seldom answers. Your life starts spinning around these queries and your anxiety rises. And the higher the anxiety becomes, the worse you feel mentally and physically.
Imagine the opposite — you have a good and stable dialogue with your clinic and your doctor, you get reliable and current data about your individual case and you can ask any questions any time. In these circumstances your anxiety decreases and your quality of life is restored.
The best way to fight anxiety is to have information and to have knowledge about what you can do for yourself right now.
By receiving information from quality sources and getting your questions answered by professionals you form a clear understanding of your current situation and further options.
This idea stands behind our Introductory package which goal is to inform, to educate and to give you the tools for making a pondered decision.
Together with anxiety goes the blame.
Blame is destructive. It is slowly taking your strengths and your good energy away.
Do not allow this to happen, break free from it.
You will not get rid of the blame in one single day, but you can start today. It will take time and effort. Start moving gradually, one step at a time. Start with letting yourself share the blame with the nature and its laws that are out of your control. Think about your own way of accepting what you cannot change and of changing what is within your power.
If such a change requires considering donor eggs, give yourself time to live with this thought, to feel how this idea reverberates inside you and inside your family.
Each family is a system where each member plays its particular role. And as any system, it changes if one of its elements changes.
When you decide to go for egg donation, your egg donor enters your family system and it is for you to define her role in it. Talking to several specialists: a doctor, a psychologist, an egg donor coordinator — will help you to write your individual story and to see your way of introducing a donor into your life and values.
Talking to specialists will also help you deal with your thoughts about the future, namely about your pregnancy and your child. You are not alone in your search for the answers to such questions as “To tell others or not?” Or “To tell your child or not?”
Here are some ideas on this subject that might help:
- Telling others
Have you ever asked your pregnant friend or relative how exactly she conceived her baby - which way she used, how the process went, who took part in it? Or, more likely, when you found out about her pregnancy, you just asked how she was feeling and congratulated her?
So why should people around be interested in how your pregnancy specifically came into your life? Try not to overthink the reaction of others and be prepared just to accept good vibes that will come to you.
As to your inner circle — here only you decide if and who to tell and you can discuss it with our psychologist in case you feel you have such a need. - Telling your child
Have you ever asked your mother about the details of how you were conceived? These very details, how it really went, step-by-step? Or you might have just asked how her pregnancy went in general, if she gained a lot of weight or not, how the delivery went.
Being children we are just happy that we have our dear parent/parents, that we are loved and taken care of. The better you will get to know your child, the better you will understand if you want/need to tell about donation. So, first, just meet your child and then it will be easier to make this decision, it will come to you one day. In case your mind just gets coming back to this question, our psychologists have good tools to help you with it.
Of course, there are much more questions — psychological, medical, practical - that we receive every day. Your questions are of great value for us.
The more answers we give, the more we “dig” into medical issues and psychological questions, the better we understand you and your needs and the better we can help.
We eagerly await your questions to give you back your power and control, to give you information.
Anna Svarinskaya
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