{"id":21656,"date":"2024-10-21T05:45:06","date_gmt":"2024-10-21T05:45:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/?p=21656"},"modified":"2025-01-28T14:58:01","modified_gmt":"2025-01-28T14:58:01","slug":"vacuum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/en\/infertility-blog\/vacuum\/","title":{"rendered":"I feel I am living in a vacuum"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Most of the fertility patients are all \u201con their way\u201d towards a pregnancy, and&nbsp;their lives are put on&nbsp;hold. What can be emotionally hard for&nbsp;many patients, is that&nbsp;being \u201con their way\u201d, for&nbsp;a long time can feel exhausting. They cannot start to process their feelings about not being able to get pregnant, and&nbsp;they cannot start celebrating a result, they are in&nbsp;between.<\/p>\n<p>Many couples and&nbsp;singles find themselves in&nbsp;the area I call the \u201cgrey zone\u201d, where&nbsp;you are \u201con your way\u201d, and&nbsp;your situation is unsure and&nbsp;you feel that&nbsp;the situation you are in, is somehow out of control. It can be emotionally hard to continue treatment, but&nbsp;it is worse to stop treatment without a result.<\/p>\n<h4>One of my patients explained how she felt like this:<\/h4>\n<blockquote>\n<p>It is like I am living in&nbsp;vacuum. This vacuum influence both my practical life, and&nbsp;my emotional life. I feel that&nbsp;I cannot do any changes in&nbsp;my life, because&nbsp;I am undergoing fertility treatment and&nbsp;I have no idea when&nbsp;I will finally get my result; a child. This unsureness makes it hard to plan other things in&nbsp;my practical life, like changing job, plan a vacation or&nbsp;move to another apartment \/ house. I am afraid to spend my money, because&nbsp;I am unsure about how many attempts I need and&nbsp;how much this project will cost me. I just need to keep my hopes up, and&nbsp;survive this time in&nbsp;my vacuum.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I tell her that&nbsp;I understand her frustration about feeling that&nbsp;she is living in&nbsp;a vacuum. She cannot yet&nbsp;celebrate a pregnancy, and&nbsp;she cannot yet&nbsp;process her feelings because&nbsp;of a treatment that&nbsp;failed, she is in&nbsp;the middle, in&nbsp;the situation she calls a vacuum and&nbsp;I call \u201cgrey zone\u201d, and&nbsp;\u201c on&nbsp;their way\u201d<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent\">What shall you do, if&nbsp;you find yourself in&nbsp;the same situation as&nbsp;my patient, in&nbsp;a vacuum, where&nbsp;your life seems to be put on&nbsp;hold?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>If&nbsp;you feel that&nbsp;your life is put on&nbsp;hold, that&nbsp;is a thought and&nbsp;a feeling, because, in&nbsp;the reality, the time never stops. We are not able to put the time on&nbsp;hold. We are all in&nbsp;processes all the time, and&nbsp;we grow, every process has its start and&nbsp;end. Even&nbsp;our lives. Doors are opened and&nbsp;doors are closing. The <strong>fertility\u00a0treatment<\/strong> will make you grow because&nbsp;you repeatedly go out of your comfort zone.\u00a0 You can feel that&nbsp;your practical life is put on&nbsp;hold, but&nbsp;you can never be put on&nbsp;hold.<\/li>\n<li>\u201cLive as&nbsp;pregnant when&nbsp;you are pregnant, live as&nbsp;not pregnant when&nbsp;you are not pregnant\u201d, this is a sentence I give to all my patients. I know it can be hard to follow this advice when&nbsp;you are in&nbsp;the middle of an attempt. But&nbsp;what I mean is that&nbsp;you should not put your practical life on&nbsp;hold. Move, change your job, plan your vacation, as&nbsp;you were not pregnant, because&nbsp;when you get pregnant, everyone will forgive\/ understand changes in&nbsp;your plans; the travel company, your new job and&nbsp;so&nbsp;on. I do understand that&nbsp;the unsureness about the financial part of the project affects your decisions, but&nbsp;I still mean that&nbsp;my sentence should be followed to increase your life quality!<\/li>\n<li>Accept. If&nbsp;you feel that&nbsp;you are in&nbsp;a vacuum, you need to accept the situation you are in&nbsp;and&nbsp;do the best out of the situation. You need to accept that&nbsp;you have little control in&nbsp;this situation. The clinic will do its best to make you pregnant, in&nbsp;the meanwhile, you should focus on&nbsp;the controllable part of your life. Be social and&nbsp;spend time with those who&nbsp;give you focus, do your activities and&nbsp;hobbies. Invest in&nbsp;yourself, to get the energy you need!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"accent2\">If&nbsp;you feel that&nbsp;your life is put on&nbsp;hold, remember that&nbsp;it is a feeling and&nbsp;a thought, because&nbsp;you will never be able to stop time. The days, weeks, months, and&nbsp;years will not stop because&nbsp;you are undergoing fertility treatment, so&nbsp;make the best out of your time and&nbsp;trust that&nbsp;the treatment one day will give you a result!<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent3\">The best of luck!!<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent3\"><span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Family counselor<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 12pt;\">Tone Br\u00e5ten<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you feel uncertain about the next step or feel stuck on your way, this article might provide advice on how to navigate these feelings, underlining the importance of continuing with life\u2019s plans and accepting the situation as it is now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":21592,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[118],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v18.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I feel I am living in a vacuum - O.L.G.A. 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