{"id":21680,"date":"2016-09-28T06:19:54","date_gmt":"2016-09-28T06:19:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/?p=21680"},"modified":"2025-01-28T12:57:18","modified_gmt":"2025-01-28T12:57:18","slug":"too-old-to-become-a-mother","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/en\/infertility-blog\/too-old-to-become-a-mother\/","title":{"rendered":"Am I too old to become a mother?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I experienced something very different and&nbsp;special this week. I had a phone call from a Danish woman. She asked me if&nbsp;I could help her.\u00a0 I told her that&nbsp;I needed to know a little bit about her, before&nbsp;I answered her question. She told me that&nbsp;she needed to accept the fact that&nbsp;she will never be a mother.<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent\">My experience is that&nbsp;women can say that, and&nbsp;that they don\u2019t know about the alternatives; sperm donation, <a href=\"\/\">egg donation<\/a> and&nbsp;<a href=\"\/en\/embryo-adoption\/\">embryo adoption<\/a>.\u00a0 I asked about her age, and&nbsp;prepared myself to give her some good news about all the alternatives that&nbsp;is.<\/p>\n<p>I was surprised and&nbsp;did not expect her answer, she said \u201cI am 76 years old, and&nbsp;I have never accepted that&nbsp;I didn\u2019t become a mum, I am still grieving after&nbsp;all this years, can you help me to change my focus?<\/p>\n<p>This was a phone call that&nbsp;reminded me of the importance to try to get pregnant when&nbsp;we actually have the chance.<\/p>\n<p>Many of my patients between the age of 43 and&nbsp;53 years old, ask me this question; am I too old to become a mother?<\/p>\n<h3>I ask them what they are afraid of, and&nbsp;they answer:<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>I am afraid of how it will affect the child to have an old mother<\/li>\n<li>I am afraid of my family and&nbsp;friend\u2019s reactions<\/li>\n<li>I am afraid that&nbsp;I will get sick, and&nbsp;not be able to take care of the child<\/li>\n<li>I am afraid that&nbsp;people will think that&nbsp;I am selfish<\/li>\n<li>I am afraid that&nbsp;my body cannot handle the medication and&nbsp;the pregnancy<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"accent\">What I notice, is that&nbsp;most of their worries is about the child. They already are concerned on&nbsp;the child behalf; they already think like mothers!<\/p>\n<h3>This is some words from me to you who&nbsp;are between 40 and\u00a0 53, and&nbsp;think that&nbsp;you are too old.<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>I know that&nbsp;you have struggled to get pregnant, maybe for&nbsp;several years, and&nbsp;I know that&nbsp;the hardest thing is not to continue treatment but&nbsp;to stop. It has been a long journey towards your child and&nbsp;you didn\u2019t plan that&nbsp;it could take such a long time.<\/li>\n<li>When&nbsp;you get pregnant and&nbsp;you are holding the child in&nbsp;your arms, your focus will be on&nbsp;your wanted child and&nbsp;not on&nbsp;what everyone around you thinks and&nbsp;feels about your project.<\/li>\n<li>How can it be selfish to create a child, when&nbsp;you will move focus from yourself to the child?<\/li>\n<li>This treatment is far more gentle with your body than&nbsp;IVF with own eggs. With egg donation and&nbsp;embryo adoption, you use less medication and&nbsp;just need to build up a perfect line that&nbsp;the embryo can be attached to.<\/li>\n<li>Think about the support system around you, friends and&nbsp;family will help you, if&nbsp;you need it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So&nbsp;back to the phone call with the Danish women. Do you want to sit at&nbsp;home at&nbsp;the age of 76 and&nbsp;regret you didn\u2019t try to get pregnant when&nbsp;you had the chance?\u00a0 This woman did not have the possibility to do egg donation or&nbsp;embryo adoption, but&nbsp;you have.<\/p>\n<h3>So&nbsp;if you choose to do treatment it is two different result:<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>You get pregnant and&nbsp;will become a mother<\/li>\n<li>You did not reach your goal, but&nbsp;you know in&nbsp;your heart that&nbsp;you tried everything, and&nbsp;that makes it easier to accept the situation.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"accent4\">I told the women that&nbsp;I would really love to help her. She will also help me. She will help me to understand the consequences of not being able to fulfill a dream.<br \/>\nYou still have the chance- grab it!<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent3\">Good luck!<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent3\">Family counselor<br \/>\nTone Br\u00e5ten<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mother in 40. Here are some words for you that you have between 40-49 and think you are too old: When you get pregnant and hold the baby in your arms<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":21681,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[118],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v18.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Am I too old to become a mother? - O.L.G.A. Fertility<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Mother in 40. 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