{"id":21687,"date":"2016-09-15T06:22:20","date_gmt":"2016-09-15T06:22:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/?p=21687"},"modified":"2024-12-26T06:23:33","modified_gmt":"2024-12-26T06:23:33","slug":"i-do-not-recognize-myself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/en\/infertility-blog\/i-do-not-recognize-myself\/","title":{"rendered":"I do not recognize myself\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\n\tThis blog text is about a patient of mine that&nbsp;I met in&nbsp;my office a week ago. She was crying, she was so&nbsp;disappointed about another failed IVF attempt. She already has a son that&nbsp;is 9 years old, but&nbsp;now&nbsp;she wants a sibling for&nbsp;him. She feels that&nbsp;she does not have the right to complain. She feels that&nbsp;no one will understand her feelings or&nbsp;thoughts, not even&nbsp;her husband. She is grieving over her wanted child, but&nbsp;she already has one&#8230;<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent4\">\n\tI ask her how she feels right now&nbsp;and how she wants this situation to be different. She looked at&nbsp;me and&nbsp;said the words that&nbsp;I often hear from patients: &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t recognize myself&rdquo;.<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent4\">\n\t<strong>She tried to explain:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li> Before&nbsp;I was jumping on&nbsp;the trampoline with my son. Now&nbsp;I am afraid of jumping because&nbsp;maybe that&nbsp;is not good for&nbsp;me during <strong> <\/strong><strong>IVF treatment<\/strong>.<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tMy son cannot bring friends home anymore because&nbsp;I feel I don&rsquo;t have the energy to be involved in&nbsp;my son&rsquo;s social life.<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tI don&rsquo;t exercise anymore because&nbsp;I do not have the energy.<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tI do not cook anymore; my husband makes dinner when&nbsp;he comes home.<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tI just work and&nbsp;think of the <strong>fertility treatment<\/strong>; I just want my second child!<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tI get angry and&nbsp;jealous when&nbsp;I see pregnant women!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"accent4\">\n\tWould you like to talk to other patients who&nbsp;have experienced the same feelings so&nbsp;that&nbsp;they share with you their solutions?<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent4\">\n\tPlease take 2 min to fill in&nbsp;the form and&nbsp;we get back to you with contacts of our patients willing to talk to you<\/p>\n<p class=\"phonecons\">\n\t<a class=\"ui button form2 contactus large\" href=\"\/en\/contacts\/talking-about-your-feelings\/\">Get in&nbsp;contact with other patients<\/a><\/p>\n<p>\n\tI told her that&nbsp;she has two children now. One is alive and&nbsp;at home and&nbsp;the other one is still an illusion. Which&nbsp;one of them deserves her energy?<\/p>\n<p>\n\tHer child that&nbsp;is alive, he finds himself in&nbsp;a situation where&nbsp;he cannot compete, or&nbsp;fight with a sibling to get his mums energy and&nbsp;attention. He sees a mum with no energy but&nbsp;does not know why. Children often blame themselves if&nbsp;their parents feel sad. If&nbsp;the child does not know the reason why&nbsp;their parents are sad, they need to know that&nbsp;mums sadness is not because&nbsp;of them.<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent4\">\n\t<strong>I ask my patient:<\/strong><\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<p> if&nbsp;you are not recognizing yourself, tell me, who&nbsp;are you?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p class=\"accent4\">\n\tShe told me that&nbsp;before&nbsp;she started to focus on&nbsp;her wanted child she was jumping on&nbsp;the trampoline, she was social, she was exercising, she was happy about other pregnancies and&nbsp;she was cooking for&nbsp;her husband!<\/p>\n<p>\n\tI told her that&nbsp;it is possible to get closer to the person that&nbsp;she really likes to be, the person that&nbsp;she recognizes and&nbsp;that she has to focus on&nbsp;her life here and&nbsp;now.<\/p>\n<p>\n\tShe needs to trust the <strong>fertility clinic<\/strong>, trust that&nbsp;they will do their best to make her pregnant and&nbsp;then it is up to nature. It Is out of her control. She does not get pregnant by only focusing on&nbsp;the fertility treatment. The success rate is on&nbsp;her side! While&nbsp;the clinic is doing their job she needs to fill up her energy again, step by step she needs to come back to the person she recognizes.<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent4\">\n\tWe made a list together of activities she could try to do during the next two weeks until&nbsp;I meet her again:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n\t\t<strong>Jump on&nbsp;the trampoline with her son<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t<strong>Make two dinners for&nbsp;her family<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t<strong>Exercise twice<\/strong><\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t<strong>Watch her son&rsquo;s football match that&nbsp;week<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\n\tWe agreed that&nbsp;this was a nice start towards the person she wants to be, the person she recognizes. Step by step!<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent4\">\n\tAre you in&nbsp;a situation where&nbsp;you can make small changes to be more like the person you like to be? Are you in&nbsp;a situation where&nbsp;you wish you could give more of your energy to the people that&nbsp;are close to you? Try to make small changes; it will make a big difference for&nbsp;the people around you!<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent3\">\n\tI wish you the best of luck! I know you can do it!<\/p>\n<p class=\"phonecons\">\n\tWould you like to discuss your situation with us?<\/p>\n<p class=\"phonecons-sm\">\n\tPlease take 2 min to fill in&nbsp;the form and&nbsp;we will get back to you and&nbsp;try to help<\/p>\n<p class=\"phonecons\">\n\t<a class=\"ui button form2 contactus large\" href=\"\/en\/contacts\/talking-about-your-feelings\/\">Get professional advice about your situation<\/a><\/p>\n<h3>\n\tWelcome to your end destination!<\/h3>\n<p class=\"accent\">\n\t&hellip;I know you will want to reach your goal as&nbsp;soon&nbsp;as&nbsp;possible; you are so&nbsp;ready to become a parent! I know that&nbsp;you will want the fertility treatment to end and&nbsp;to become pregnant as&nbsp;quickly as&nbsp;possible, I know that&nbsp;it is important for&nbsp;you to see the end of this child project!<\/p>\n<p>Tone Br\u00e5ten<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She was crying, she was so disappointed about another failed attempt. She already has a son that is 9 years old, but now she wants a sibling for him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":21562,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[118],"tags":[],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v18.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>I do not recognize myself\u2026 - O.L.G.A. Fertility<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"She was crying, she was so disappointed about another failed attempt. 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