{"id":21699,"date":"2016-07-25T07:14:47","date_gmt":"2016-07-25T07:14:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/?p=21699"},"modified":"2024-12-26T07:15:31","modified_gmt":"2024-12-26T07:15:31","slug":"do-you-feel-jealous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/olgafertilityclinic.com\/en\/infertility-blog\/do-you-feel-jealous\/","title":{"rendered":"Do you feel jealous? That\u2019s normal!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Jealousy can be an unhappy and&nbsp;angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has.<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent\">When&nbsp;you see women around you that&nbsp;are pregnant or&nbsp;are holding their newborn babies in&nbsp;their arms, how do you feel?<\/p>\n<p>Many of my patients tell me that&nbsp;it is hard to admit that&nbsp;they feel jealousy when&nbsp;they see friends and&nbsp;others, easily get pregnant.<\/p>\n<p>Pregnancies and&nbsp;small babies are close to their own dream, so&nbsp;that\u2019s why&nbsp;it hurts to see it.<\/p>\n<p>As&nbsp;a counselor, I find it normal that&nbsp;infertility patients feel that&nbsp;they are the \u201conly one\u201d that&nbsp;struggle to become parents, and&nbsp;it is hard for&nbsp;them to not think at&nbsp;their own situation as&nbsp;unfair.\u00a0 They really want to be in&nbsp;another situation, they really want to have what someone else has \u2014 a child and&nbsp;a family, out of this comes the feeling of jealousy.<\/p>\n<h4>This negative thoughts and&nbsp;feelings are reactions that&nbsp;the patients actually don\u2019t want to feel, and&nbsp;that gives consequences:<\/h4>\n<ul>\n<li>They are angry with themselves and&nbsp;feel ashamed because&nbsp;of the jealousy, and&nbsp;it\u2019s hard to admit the emotional reaction.<\/li>\n<li>They start to isolate, make a distance and&nbsp;make up lies, so&nbsp;they don\u2019t need to meet pregnant women or&nbsp;newborn babies.<\/li>\n<li>I really think that&nbsp;we should normalize our own feelings! Of course you feel jealous; of course, it feels unfair that&nbsp;exactly you need to go through treatment!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>Here is my advice for&nbsp;your situation<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>Don\u2019t get angry with yourselves for&nbsp;feeling jealous, just accept the feeling and&nbsp;tell yourselves that&nbsp;one day, it will be you!\u00a0 Try to use others pregnancies as&nbsp;a motivation, and&nbsp;think; one day it\u2019s me!!<\/li>\n<li>If&nbsp;you are jealous of certain people \u2014 remember that&nbsp;it is not them as&nbsp;persons you are jealous about or&nbsp;don\u2019t like; it is the situation they are in. their situation as&nbsp;pregnant affects your emotions. Emotions that&nbsp;you don\u2019t want to feel. So&nbsp;it is not them that&nbsp;is the problem, it\u2019s about your own feelings.<\/li>\n<li>Maybe you should tell the people you are jealous of about your emotions, instead of creating a distance, or&nbsp;isolate yourselves. Tell them that&nbsp;their situation affects you right now, but&nbsp;it is nothing wrong with them!<\/li>\n<li>If&nbsp;you find it hard to feel happy on&nbsp;others behalf, when&nbsp;it comes to pregnancies, I find that&nbsp;normal, don\u2019t get angry with yourself. This is a time-limited situation \u2014 one day you will be the pregnant one!<\/li>\n<li>Remember that&nbsp;the words you tell yourself and&nbsp;others will affect how they react and&nbsp;treat you.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Jealousy is normally a \u201cnegative word\u201d, and&nbsp;if&nbsp;you tell someone that&nbsp;you are jealous, they will probably react different, then if&nbsp;you tell them that&nbsp;you feel vulnerable.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jealousy creates distance, vulnerability creates empathy and&nbsp;understanding!<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent2\">Be wise. Respect and&nbsp;accept your emotional reactions, normalize them and&nbsp;try to not start to think destructive thoughts about yourself.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent4\">You just want to have what someone else has, its nothing wrong with that, use it as&nbsp;a motivation. One day it\u2019s you!!<\/p>\n<p class=\"accent3\">The best of luck!<br \/>\nTone Br\u00e5ten<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you see women around you who are pregnant or holding newborn babies in their arms &#8211; how do you feel? Feels unfair that you only need egg donation<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":21544,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[118],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-infertility-blog"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Do you feel jealous? That\u2019s normal! - O.L.G.A. Fertility<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When you see women around you who are pregnant or holding newborn babies in their arms - how do you feel? 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